Run Away and Regret Comes Later: A Short Prose.

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Summary: Story and poems, which portrayed a man’s feeling and regrets about his past.

It is almost midnight. Ezra is awake and walking down the alley. He cannot find a place, a tidy one just to unwind, take a deep breath, and then moving on again. Lucas is also awake, tomorrow should be one of the best days in his entire life, but he is terrified. He is busy checking out his phone, hoping for the best that he will get a call or a text from Ezra. Lucas cannot keep his mind thinking that something terrible happened to his brother. Living separated from his brother for more than 15 years makes him know nothing about his brother, his mother, or even his family. Lucas was too busy chasing his college degree, his career, and now he is busy arranging his wedding. Everything was started when they were kids, when everything seemed to be so fine to everybody else but not for him, not for Lucas.

Run, run as fast as you can

It’s midnight already

The phone rang

The birds flew

And people was starring with dying eyes

Have you met your fate?

Possessed by agony

You took a flower, a black one

Where is your loved ones?

Lucas was embarrassed with Ezra. He even could not accept that he was born from the same mother with Ezra. He tried as possible as he could to cover everything related to him and Ezra. It was because he could not stand the scorns if others found out Ezra was his brother. He could not stand the way people would look at them after they saw things Ezra did in public. From they were just little boys, Ezra always seemed different. Mary, their mother, took Ezra to every place that she heard could heal Ezra’s strange habit. She lost her job, even her husband left him because of Ezra. She did not stop trying until the next day she woke up and she realized that she could not afford another treatment for Ezra. Ezra himself did not find anything strange about his physical appearance. He thought he was as normal as other people, until he got distracted. Things changed. He could run, scream, and shout uncontrollably to everybody. He said that someone was chasing after him. He was talking to himself all the time. He felt like he lived in different universe sometimes. When it happened, no one was able to tame him. No one was strong enough to stop everything Ezra did. And Lucas was there all the time, watching his brother. And the only thing Lucas knew was he could not live with a crazy brother anymore. Lucas promised to himself that he will never admit to anybody that Ezra was his brother. He should go as far as he can from Ezra and Mary. He got to live alone and be a successful person, leaving them all behind.

Run, run again

The dawn is breaking

The thorns now pierced in your hand

Blood spilled, blood dripped

You’re all alone

You’ve been hiding for so long

Your heart was too deep and veiled

The pain is now torturing,

Completing things you’ve left unsaid

Here he is, looking to the street from his favorite spot in his old house; a little balcony outside of his bedroom, trying to figure out what had happened after he left 15 years ago. He should not have yelled to Ezra. Mary’s death was not Ezra’s fault. If it was possible to blame someone about Mary’s death, the person should be him. He was too busy, leaving all behind without knowing the damages he left. He did not come home for this, for the truth. He came to tell everybody how they should be proud of him. He is a success man, now. But now, he cannot stop regretting everything he had done to his family. Two days before Ezra run away from home, Lucas was frustrated. He found out that Mary had passed away, he did not get a chance to tell her how sorry he was or how much he loved her and still. He came to Ezra, yelled at him, and almost beat him. Ezra was crying for a help, begging for apologize, and run away outside uncontrollably. Crying and shouting to everybody. Ezra did not know where he should go. And he lost eventually. Lucas did not feel sorry for Ezra, even a little. He could not control his anger.

Now you stop running

Devastating all the good and bad memories

Mending all the broken

Taking time to think?

Too late

The flower is wilted

The sun is too shame to shine

The pain, it hurts, doesn’t it?

Running back to find where you belong

He slept in Mary’s bedroom that night. The day Ezra was gone. Suddenly, a big envelope fell on the floor. It was an old envelope with Ezra’s name on it. He opened it. He was shocked, really shocked. It was a medical record; Schizophrenia and Asperger disorder. He should have known it from a long time ago. He should have known if his brother was suffering rare syndromes. He should not have done all those things to Ezra.

Now, he cannot stop thinking how sorry he is to Ezra, but nobody knows where Ezra is. It is the day, the most important day in Lucas life, the day where everybody should be happy for him. But the truth is, he does not have anything left, deep down in his heart he feels so lonely. Deep down he misses his childhood, his mother, and Ezra. He regrets everything, everything happened, and everything he has done. He feels like a total jerk. Meanwhile, somewhere, Ezra was smiling happily. And he says, “I forgive you, brother. Have a blissful life.”

Now, you have no flower, no on to lean on

You never knew perfection till nothing’s left

You never knew what is irreplaceable

You’re fragile and cold and alone

Life will getting rough everyday

And you’ll be sorry for the time you’ve wasted

.

Thank you to Dimas Arbrianto.

References:

– Ginsberg, Allen. Howl and Other Poems. City Lights Books.

– Dickinson, Emily. I’ve Seen A Dying Eye Poem. (http://www.bartleby.com/113/4015.html)

Word count: (1000)

Link for work dramatization.

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4 thoughts on “Run Away and Regret Comes Later: A Short Prose.

  1. 180410120072/A

    I like how the narration and the poem are combined in this story. Moreover I find the combination interesting because being compared to the narrator’s function in the narration, I think the presence of the poem gives a feeling of another narrator’s existence with different function. Unlike narrator in the narration that describes the characteristic of Lucas and how Lucas lives his live, narrator in the poem tends to speak to the character. For example; “Taking time to think? Too late.” This line of the poem tends to say to Lucas that he has wasted his family and no matter how he regrets what he does, it has been to late for him.

    Like

  2. 180410120005/A

    I really love this work! This work is very unique, very interesting. And I like your idea for combining the narration and the poem into a unity in which both support each other. In my opinion, the story in the narration and the poem are built by the narrator. The difference is the narration is just story that is narrated by the narrator. Whereas, the poem is not just story that is narrated by the narrator, it is more likely to describe and express the feeling of the narrator to the characters in the story, especially Lucas; the narrator also seems to speak directly to the characters.

    Words: 107

    Like

  3. 180410120129/G

    I think it is a great story. Its poem and story is mixed very well. The poem in the middle of the story makes me more understand about what happened in it. I can feel the deepest regret inside the main character, Lucas, through these lines “Now, you have no flower, no on to lean on. You never knew perfection till nothing’s left. You never knew what is irreplaceable. You’re fragile and cold and alone.” These lines are good enough to describe how painful he is, when he knew that the most important person who loves him the most left him.

    (101 words)

    Like

  4. I love Lucas’s character as a brother. I think even before he read the letter, he had already shown love to ezra, as his brother. It was shown through how he observed Ezra since he was a kid and tried to helped him eventhough he didn’t want to. I considered it like this because Lucas listened to what Ezra thought, said and felt. I also assume that when Lucas said,” No one was strong enough to stop everything Ezra did.” He was also include to stop or help Ezra but as he wasn’t strong either, so he was just watching him. And with Lucas being a successful, I take as a prove that there is something that Lucas deserves better than have a brother like Ezra and can do better than Ezra who is just running.

    words:136

    Like

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