A Battle at Blue Coffee Shop (A Sequel to Blue Notes): A Short Prose

180410120045/C

Summary: A guy who has superpowers, has a battle at the place he gets his initial power with a villain who is related to his loved one.

“God, it’s 1 am. I need more coffee.”
“There’s no coffee left in the pantry,” Tracy said with a pout.
“Oh, damn, I’ll go outside then, hope I’ll find one coffee shop still open in this hour.”
“Okay, good luck.” said Tracy.

The coffee shop across the street was already closed. I walked around, and I found a coffee shop named Blue Coffee Shop. At first I thought the name was funny, why was it named Blue Coffee shop? Did they also sell blue coffee? I went there anyway because I really needed caffeine to keep me awake.

The place seemed odd, really. From the outside, the shop looked quiet. But, in the inside, it’s quite crowded. Another weird thing was that before I said my order, they already served me with a cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” I said.
“Enjoy you coffee.” the waiter said with a friendly smile.

The coffee was delicious. I liked it. I looked around the shop until unexpectedly the coffee shop was blown.

I thought that it was the incident that made me have this mind reading power because I remembered waking up in a hospital and feeling so shocked to hear so many voices in head. But, I wondered how I got this power, was it because my head was hit by something in that incident? And how the hell those warning blue colored note came out of my pocket? I still didn’t understand.

“Hey, Richard, are you still on earth?”
“Uh, what?” I was startled.
“You’re spacing out. Again. You’re here, alone, drinking coffee, why don’t you have some company? Mind if I sit here?”
“No, sure, you can sit there.” I said nervously because it was Erin.
“Spacing out is really one of your traits, isn’t it? I always catch you spacing out.”
“Well, maybe.” I grinned lightly.
“Anyway, I wanted to say thanks for saving me.”
“Saving you? from what?” I was puzzled.
“The earthquake, a week ago. I’m sorry I haven’t got a chance to say thanks. I went out of town right away; dad asked me to help him in his office.”
“Oh, Mr. O’Shaughnessy? How is he? I heard he’s coming here?”
“Yes, he is. It’s a bit weird, though, cause he’s been very busy in his office. By the way, I only left this town for a week, but there seemed to be a lot of things going on in this city. I just saw on TV there was a new hero or something saving people from danger, in real flesh, not just some warning notes.”
“Oh yes, it’s been a while actually. People are calling him “Spex”.”
“Spex? Why do people call him that? What a weird name,” she chuckled.

It was, indeed. Couldn’t they come up with a better name?

“It’s a fore-clipped word from Haruspex, a diviner in ancient Rome basing his predictions on inspection of the entrails of sacrificial animals.” I said explaining.
“What? Does he do that?!” she exclaimed.
“No, of course, not. It’s just that people think he has some psychic ability and he can predict forthcoming crimes.”
“Oh. I think, we should call him “antenna-man” because you know he has an antenna on his attire,” she said with a laugh.

I know it looked ridiculous, but the antenna helped me to read people’s mind whose head covered by hats, caps, and things like that.

“I think, we should go back to the office.” I said while standing up.
“Yeah, Okay, let’s go.”

—-

When Erin and I were on our way back to the office building, I saw a man who looked like Mr. O’Shaughnessy, but he wore a hat, and looked like in a hurry.

“Erin, isn’t that Mr. O’Shaughnessy?” I said pointing him out to her.
“Is he? He hasn’t told me he’s already here and he surely doesn’t wear hats.”
“Look again.” I asked her, and this time, the man was looking back and we could see his face.
“Daddy? Why didn’t he tell me? Where is he going?”
“Dad!!” Erin shouted and ran after him.
“Erin, where are you going?” I followed her.

We followed him. And frankly enough, he went to the Blue Coffee Shop.
This was like the first time I stepped my foot near this place since that incident. The coffee shop was still wrecked and looked like it’s been abandoned completely.

As I moved closer to the coffee shop, a voice came to my head which sounded like that weird language from that alien I killed. I felt a weird energy, and I wish I could change to my costume, but Erin was there.

Mr. O’Shaughnessy was near the cashier and looked like he’s talking to someone. Erin saw him too and shouted. Mr. O’Shaughnessy was surprised and looked like he’s hiding something.
“Erin, what are you doing here?” said Mr. O’Shaughnessy looking surprised.
“No, what are you doing, Dad? And who are you talking to?” Erin said to her dad looking a little scared.
“Nothing, honey, I’m just checking out this place,” he tried to calm her and reached her. Then he saw me.
“Richard?”
All of a sudden the man who was talking to him came out and turned out he wasn’t a man, he is another alien.

“YOU!” that alien screamed at me with anger.

Erin was so shocked to see that creature; she screamed and fainted.

“Calm down, you, idiot. You scared the hell out of my daughter.” Mr. O’Shaughnessy said to that alien.
“He’s the one who took your formula and drank them.” said the alien with his monster voice.

“Was he?” he then pulled a device out of his pocket and pushed the button.
At a sudden a sound came out of that device and hurt my head so bad that I could lost my sight.

“Oh, so it’s you. You know what? I was going to take over this world with that formula! But you drank it! Well, now, since the formula which was in your coffee that you drank in this place, is now in your blood, shall we shrink you and take all of your blood. Get him now, Oron,” ordered Mr. O’Shaughnessy to that ugly alien.

“Humans are morons. I swear I’m gonna kill you all,” added Mr. O’Shaughnessy.

I ran. I couldn’t fight him without my costume on. He finally caught me, smashed me to the wall, and tied me up. Mr. O’Shaughnessy cut my hands right in the artery. Blood streamed down from my hand and I was just hopeless, couldn’t do anything but wait to die.

As I laid there, I heard a voice “Son, drink that dropping water.”
My body was numb that I didn’t feel there’s dropping water near my body. It was red, similar to my blood.

I drank three drops of it. Suddenly, the wound was healing and I gained my strength again. I’m already in my blue dominant costume with a neutron sign in my chest and complete with an antenna in my head.

Oron was so shocked by my transformation that he couldn’t do anything because he knew if he fought with his power, his power would become mine.
A laser coming from my antenna was enough to tear him down and kill him.

Mr. O’Shaughnessy was stunned. He begged me not to kill him. He said he’s just human. Well, what kind of human dealing with monsters just to kill his own race.

A laser came out and he was motionless.

I was relieved it ended until I turned around and saw Erin was there looking extremely shocked.

.

Thank you to Intan Frizkiani, Elmi Nurfazri, Irfan Reza Hardiansyah, and Aliffia Nur R. for proofreading this short prose, and also to my internet friend, Yudho Murphy Harahap (@yudhomurphy) for helping me find ideas for this story and drawing the graphic dramatization for this short prose.

References:
– Superman, Spiderman, and other superhero stories.
– Heroes (TV Series)
– Crownies (An Australian TV Series)

Word count: (1000)

Link for work dramatization:
https://38.media.tumblr.com/b7e67e43d6b74964c6354ce4cac21f85/tumblr_n7h623njy71sdx2sco1_1280.jpg

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6 thoughts on “A Battle at Blue Coffee Shop (A Sequel to Blue Notes): A Short Prose

  1. 180410120051
    Kelas C

    I like the way you wrote the advanced story of your last story (Blue note). The story amazed me because you made this story totally different with what I have expected before. But there is something in this story that bothered me. About the mysterious coffee that is already served before he said his order, what is the relation between the mysterious coffee with the whole part of your story. Honestly, I expected that the mysterious coffee will be something important in this story, but you didn’t mention about the coffee again until the end of the story that make me feel sad. But for the whole story, you did a good job!

    Word count: 113

    Like

  2. 180410100025 / B
    I really like your story, the story is easy to understand and has a great imagination. Each of the character very important role in this story. In a few paragraphs at the beginning of the story the narrator tells only about the coffee shop and the strangeness its name, then the narrator opens a new story by showing a strange thing happened. When Erin character there was a conflict in the coffee shop with the advent of the alien character. The character of Mr. O’Shaughnessy’s just appeared in a few paragraphs but his character is very important to build a story. I agree with the comment above that mysterious coffee will be an important part in your story, but you do not offend again about coffee in the last part of your story. (133)

    Like

  3. 180410120082/E

    As a sequel of another story, this short prose doesn’t give me any confusing reference to understand it completely, which is different from another sequel story I’ve read or seen before. Your story doesn’t abandon readers that have just found your link and decided to click and read it; it stands alone as a quasi-independent story. I guess there are several parts that this story tries to explain regarding the lost explanation in the previous one, like how the main characters accidentally gained his super power. This significantly appears when the main character stream-of-consciousnessly recalls how the accident that granted him the power happened and seemingly changes his life, like protecting people and encountering alien, triggered by him spacing out while drinking coffee in a public place.

    Word count: 127

    Like

  4. 180410120044/C

    Finally, the sequel of your story. It’s good. Now I understand how Richard get his superpower. But to see how the story goes, I think it is not as thrilling as the first one. The climax of it is just too common. I expect something more explosive even though Spex only have the power of reading minds. And the part of the hero kills the monster or alien should be more specifically told. If you could tell more about the alien’s fight, it could have more fun. But overall, I like the idea of yours that the hero in this story gets his superpower from the aliens.

    words: 107

    Like

  5. Aliffia Nur R
    180410120049 /C

    Previously I have read your first story, and I really liked it. I’m happy that you made ​​a sequel of the Blue Notes, it is a good idea. In this sequel I see that try to make a connection between this story with the previous story by revealing Richard’s past about how he got his power, you expose it very well and make it easy to understand. But in this sequel, I think the climax occured too long then suddenly dropped into anticlimax. Like what had mentioned by Aditya before, the climax of a battle between Richard and the alien noticeably less detail. However, it is not easy to write a fantasy-themed story, overall you did a good job.

    (144)

    Like

  6. 180410120054/C

    I think the part when Richard has a battle with the evil creature will be more interesting if Erin involved in the battle since she is the daughter of the villain in this story. Erin’s father shows his care to his daughter when Erin fainted as she sees the creature. So, I think the climax will be more interesting when the villain must face his daughter at the final battle. Moreover, I like your short prose because the climax is so clear for me even though it is just a 1000 words short story. But there is one character who still makes me wondering who is he/she. I feel curious about the mysterious voice that is heard by Richard while he is injured at the middle of that battle.

    129 words

    Like

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