Illusion: A Short Prose

180410120070/A

Summary: Megan witnesses a little girl’s suicide attempt.

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Megan Falkner lazily dragged her feet to the main road of the city. The day was superhot but she didn’t have any foods left inside her refrigerator so she had to walk under the shining sun only to grab a lunch. She was imagining a glass of ice cream and a fried chicken she would buy at a restaurant on the end of the street when she felt someone blocked her way. She snapped upon reality and observed her surroundings.

The street was filled with people gathering in front of an old flat, murmuring some things and gazing up to the sky. Megan followed their actions. She looked up only to find a little girl sitting on a rooftop while hugging her knees. Being curious, Megan stopped at her place to see what exactly was going on there.

Police cars suddenly blared out of nowhere and people shoved each other. The police came out from their cars, two of whom went upstairs while the others looked on the street. A police came over to an old lady who looked so worried and then interrogated her. Megan couldn’t grasp what they were talking about for she was standing four meters away from the crowd. She only caught a glimpse of the old lady’s tear when she wiped it. The other police put some mattresson the ground preparing for the worst scene.

“What’s going on?” asked a man to a woman standing few feet away from her.

“That little girl’s going to jump.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know. Heard that her mother hasn’t come back home since two days ago.”

Megan’s heart clenched. She couldn’t even find a word to mutter.

“How did she find a way to sit on there and think to kill herself?” Mumbled the man.

“Her neighbors said their family was such a mess that she and her brother didn’t get any attention from their mother. Some also said she witnessed the scene when her father wanted to kill himself few months ago. So I assume she got the idea from her father.”

“Oh God.”

The three of them looked up just as screams roared. The little girl currently sat on the edge of the ledge with her legs dangling above the street. She looked down where all people were clasping their hands tightly and pleading her not to jump.

“I want to go to Daddy’s place…” she said between her tears.

“No, Sweetheart, don’t do this. Your Mommy will back home soon,” said Ms. Page, the old lady.

“Mommy doesn’t love me.”

“Sweetheart, your Mommy loves you. So come down, please and I’ll give you cupcakes every day.”

Megan turned her head as a wind rushed over her right side. She saw two policemen pacing down the old flat whilst pulling a little boy who looked pale and perplexed. The crowd opened a way for them and looked relieved upon recognizing the little boy, who was dragged by the police from the park he played in.

“I just hope the little brother can break down her intention to jump,” said a woman near Megan’s place.

Megan brought her eyes back to the rooftop. She felt her heart tightened after seeing the little girl sobbed sadly there. She unexpectedly remembered her parents who weren’t living with her anymore. She abruptly blinked her eyes which became teary and told herself to focus on the little girl upside there.

The little girl stirred on her place, once again making the crowd gasped. Just as she looked down below her feet, the little boy arrived and approached her. “Where are you going, Sissy?”

The little girl turned around, “Nate! I’m going to see Daddy.”

“Don’t go,” pleaded the little boy.

“I have to go, Nate. I miss Daddy.”

“I miss Daddy too, Sissy. But don’t leave me alone here.” The little boy started crying. “Nate has no one except you.”

The little girl looked taken aback. She gazed at her brother, who was crying, and the crowd, who was waiting for her decision, back and forth. In the end, she started to wail and came to hug her little brother. “Okay Nate. I won’t go anywhere.”

That made everyone clapped their hands and sighed in relieved. Ms. Page smiled brightly while she thanked the policemen and promised them that she would look after those kids.

Megan smiled at the scene. It had just warmed her heart. She was so absorbed to it until she didn’t realize that someone was coming to her.

“Meg! What are you doing here? I thought you said you want to go to McDonalds.”

Megan turned her head to the voice. She was so glad that this boy stood beside her. “I was just…” she trailed off while looked at her surroundings. The street was filled with cars passing by. The flat she was staring at for the past minutes looked normal with no one surrounded it. She looked up to its rooftop then saw nobody. “Nothing.” She smiled.

The boy furrowed his brows. “You didn’t imagine doing something crazy again, did you?”

Megan clutched her arm to the taller boy’s hand. “Let’s fill our bellies until they explode, Nate!”

“You’re being weird again, Sissy.” Said the boy.

Megan glanced up to the boy. “Whatever. What do you want to eat? I’ll treat you until you can’t stuff a food inside your mouth.”

“Meg, did you just struck by a car or something?”

Word count: 906 words

Thanks to:

180410120079 for helping me develop the idea and 180410120072 & 180410120066 for correcting my grammar and proofreading the story.

Reference:

http://www.writersdigest.com/prompts/saving-a-life

Link for work dramatization: http://www.4shared.com/music/hVhE6k4Lce/Voice_049.html

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13 thoughts on “Illusion: A Short Prose

  1. 180410120043 / B

    It is such a pleasure to read your story. It made my heart pumping at a moment and nearly made me lost in grief. The love between the brother and sister you point out is simple, yet it is very touching. You describe everything so well that I can visualize the whole event in my head. Moreover, the twist you put into the story is a brilliant idea, though I already got the clue from its title since I first saw it. Even after I finished reading the story, it made me have a further thinking about Megan whether she has a mental disorder or something, plus whether the suicide attempt is related to Megan’s childhood or just her truly imagination. (Word count: 121)

    Like

    • Thank you for reading and complimenting my work, Yuli. I’m glad that this makes your heart pumping because it is my purpose! Haha. Honestly I didn’t have further thoughts about Megan having a mental disorder, it was just a scene that she actually did when she was nine years old. But let the readers imagine what they want!

      Like

  2. 180410120072/A

    I like the way you use a nickname Sissy for your main character, Megan, because in the beginning of the story, the nickname plays a role in keeping a secret of true identity of a little girl who will jump from the building. Honestly, at first I thought that your story was merely about a girl named Megan who witnesses a little girl’s failed suicide attempt, but in fact you put a twist as your ending. In the other hand, you also use the nickname as a path which relates the girl who will jump to Megan, so I can understand your plot clearly that what Megan sees is actually an illusion of her past. (114 words)

    Like

    • Thank you for dropping your comment here, Netti! Yes, I intentionally make a nickname for the little girl to disguise the little girl’s identity, which is Megan herself.

      Like

  3. Ineza Rachma Putri
    180410120113
    Class F

    As its title, “Illusion”, I did not wonder why the story mostly tells about an imagination. But what makes me wondering why I keep enjoying reading the story is the way you built plot here. The plot is chronologically structured. It is so coherent from one paragraph to another paragraph. It makes me easier to understand the story quickly. I agree that Megan was an imaginative girl who always played with her imagination. I do not agree she suffered a mental disorder because as far as I know, a man or a woman who plays with his or her imagination tends to be a fickle person. When Megan insisted that she did not want to go outside only to buy some foods at first until she finally changed her mind to treat her brother some foods generously, I think, it was not merely indicated that she suffered a mental disorder.

    Word Count: (150)

    Like

  4. 180410120061/E

    I do not think that this short story tells an illusion that is far from what I imagined. I assume by reading the title and the summary of this story tells about the figment of a little girl’s imagination and Megan who witnessed it, and it turns out my prediction was wrong. This story plot is well constructed and arranged with a pattern of back and forth with the beginning of the story when Megan went to buy some food and the end of story that she continued the trip on her feet. The event of experienced by Megan is the climax in this story that I find the other side of Megan’s life outside of reality. As a reader, this story made a successful the reader to keep their eyes in order to remain reading.

    (Words: 136)

    Like

  5. 180410120074/D

    Oh my god! Is Megan the little girl who wants to jump since at the end, she is being called “sissy”? When I read the title, Illusion, I thought that Megan only imagines there is a girl who wants to commit suicide, a Megan’s imagination. But I have no idea that it is actually herself. The way you make the readers have their own expectations is interesting. In the end, I also did not expect that the boy walking with her to the market is her brother who prevented her years ago. Another interesting point is when you make no gap of the past and the present so that the story is flowing surprisingly.
    (114 words)

    Like

    • 180410110082

      I feel this fiction is as natural as our daily life. You make the story so easy to understand by using only three important character – The little girl/ Megan, The boy/Nate, and Ms. Page. In the beginning until the middle of the story, there is no clue that indicates Megan is the little girl who wants to jump from the ledge. The characterization of each character plays as the role of their ages. It is a good trick how you hide the little girl identity as ‘sissy’ in the 80% of this story. The best point is You make your reader surprised by your unexpected plot. Keep writing!

      109 words

      Like

  6. 180410120103/E

    I love how you build the story so that when I read it, I did not realize she was imagining herself instead of some random little girl with her brother. I also love how you put the element of family in the story and made it an important issue.
    One thing I find most heartbreaking about the story is how Nate calls Megan with the nickname “Sissy”. Assuming that it is Megan’s nickname for being Nate’s sister, you show how important Megan is to Nate and how their brother-sister bond is very strong, especially because of their mother’s absence and the way Nate begged Megan not to jump.

    (108 words)

    Like

  7. 180410120027/B

    This is really a well-written and heart-warming story. The dictions you choose successfully connect the readers to the story, so, I, as a reader, can depict the event vividly. At first, I worried that the story simply tells about a girl who happened to witness a suicide attempt without any correlation with it. But I’m happy that it was just the protagonist’s flashback of her childhood memory; it’s like a prize at the end of story. I like the way you keep the surprise by concealing the name of the little girl and name the protagonist instead, and in the middle you name the brother and conceal his name before everything was revealed. Good job! (130 words)

    Like

  8. Pingback: REPOST. | A L I N G C H O ✌

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