SUMMARY: Kinanti, a girl who try to reach the past and remember everything that she miss so much.
The way I have chosen is different now. Maybe it is. I have forgotten what I have to do. But now I remember. It is such a good thing or not but it has been decided by me. Today, shine is brighter than usual. I go in early morning to take my assignment then it is still morning but the sun has burnt my face. So I will back to my dormitory. This is a big town actually that have many concrete-building-trees. It is almost two years since I left my village and my family, my father said I cannot come home before I get my success. So, this is the consequence. On the way I go back I see what I miss so much. The mother is waiting her daughter in the kindergarten. She is taking her daughter shoes while the daughter is preparing and praying before go home in the class. I give my small smile and I remember that moment too. All the way I think I can reach the past. I know the past also has a door so I open it. So I go back to the past, oh no, this is my room.
My room has a full body mirror and you know, it can take me to the past. So, please a big-mouthed-mirror takes me to the past when I was five. But that big-mouthed-mirror said, you can’t. The mirror is another me that have refracted my life. My big sister, Kirana, always said to me that I was a snow-white-addict. But I love the queen I always take my mirror everywhere to talk if I fell alone. Because I don’t make friends a lot so I will not feel alone if I take my small mirror with me and I can talk everything with myself through the mirror.
Hello another me, I feel I miss my mother. When I was a child she always accompanied me everywhere. Ya.. because it’s her daily life. I don’t know why women in my place cannot do everything that they want like my mother but she always told me that the most what she want is watch me and my sister grow well. My mother from elementary graduate she cannot get higher education because women if they have reached for about fifteen it’s like a final destination, it’s time to get married. My mother got married when she was sixteen. But my mother told me she was very happy, no regret life. But she always wants the best thing for me and Kirana. Oh my dearest sister, unlucky Kirana. But I know, now Kirana has become a happiest mother, she has a son. I know that everyone has different path so I choose it, I leave my village, and I can’t do my father dictate. I know Kirana also want choose her path by herself but she can’t. Until her graduate from middle school she got married with the son of my father’s friend then Kirana said “maybe this is my own path”. Then I believe in her now she is happy. She also trusts me that I can reach my own path without my father’s dictate.
So I am a lucky girl, not all girls can go to kindergarten but me; I can go to kindergarten in the neighbor village. Everyday my mother always accompanied me by ride bicycle. Even it was raining, and bad weather my mother always accompanied me no matter what. Like the mother whom I see before, even the shine is brighter than usual and makes her exhausted but it is not a matter at all. Hi, a big-mouthed-mirror, you know my mother always said to me that “Kinanti, you have a star in your eyes; however the darkness meet you in your way but your eyes really have a star so the darkness will be scared because that star will light your way”. Because from that, my mother trust me so since then I know I can light my way.
I do remember when my neighbor was jealous with me, because I can go to Kindergarten while their daughter cannot be the same. One day my mother’s bicycle-tire was flat so I cannot go to the school. Actually, in the evening I saw someone had left my garage, there was my neighbor, but that time I was a child and I think it doesn’t mean anything. Until that happened again and again, my mother had changed the bicycle-tire twice, so it was so strange. Oh it is a long time ago.
One day, when I was seventeen my father’s friend come to my home and begin talking that I was enough to get married; I do remember that was a terrible moment that I ever had. My father always said if a woman must stay at home and help the family. But, two years ago I got scholarship and must leave my family. But of course my father didn’t give me permission, it was the same thing when I was graduate from middle school and want to get high school but my beloved father didn’t agree. My father always said again and again that a woman must stay at home and help family, but I did it, every day. I could go to school and help my family, then in the evening I was going to work as “tempe” maker at “tempe” factory. Because I think people in general don’t understand what I have to do. The one who really understand me is I. They stand with their stereotype. You, you are the one who understand me. Oh good mirror. But, I miss them, my father, my mother, my dearest sister Kirana, and the villagers. I hardly find people like them in here. Their care, their smile every meet me, and the question “where have you been or where would you go”, I miss them so much. No place is better. Nope. They are same. Every place has good and bad thing. Then, now this is who I am, this is how I am. I stand here without them, I have left them but one day I will back to them. I am promise. Oh dearest mirror. Stand with my own path. I am begging you.
Thank you notes.
Thank you for some of my friends (I cannot tell the names) who had told me their childhood. Then, thank you for my proofreader Gita Kania Dewi who has the kindness to read my short fiction story. Thank you.
Snow white fairy tale
word count: 1.113 words
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