Final Writing: How does it feel to be dead? (Non-Fiction).

Shabrina Eilien Khalishah/180410150025

Vacation, vacation, vacation. Bali? Jogjakarta? Ugh, anywhere but Cirebon! Anggun Martha Bethari was so sick of her college stuffs, she needed vacation more than anything. It was a nice day actually, Anggun just finished her shower and ready for the day with her close friends, it took her at least 30 minutes to get ready. Once she stepped out of her house, the young lady could feel the wind blow her long hair. The long-haired girl moved her head to the left and then right, waiting for her friends to come, they said they will be there within 10 minutes. Oh, one of the things she hated the most, waiting.

Her eyes widened when she spotted two girls walking side by side, approaching her. “Oh wow, you said 10 minutes and I’ve stood here for more than 15 minutes.” A long sigh escaped her mouth as she started walking, followed by Nana and Marsha. The girls had planned to visit a new cafe near Anggun’s house. People said they serve the most delicious pancakes ever, though she didn’t really believe what people said.

“How’s your granpda, Nggun?” Nana broke the silence between the three. Anggun kept quiet for a few seconds before she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, I’m not sure,” she hesitantly replied, “I haven’t visited him yet, maybe tonight.” She continued, biting her own lower lip. Suddenly Anggun felt bad because she had not visited her grandpa even though he already hospitalized for a week, but she quickly covered it by trying to talk about something else.

The day went well as she expected it to be. They had fun at the cafe, eating, drinking coffee, even taking picture and gossipping. There was something bothering her when she was on her back to her house. The thing that made her sad without knowing the reason behind her sadness. She used to feel it before and something bad did happen to her. “Where were you? Mom was looking for you but she went to the hospital already.” The voice of her younger brother successfully brought her back to the world. Anggun blinked her eyes several times before looking at Dean. “I went out with my friends. Ugh, why mom didn’t call me? Are you going to the hospital now?” Instead of replying her, Dean walked away, ignoring her as usuall. “What kind of brother is he?” The girl muttered under her breath as she walked upstairs.

It was around 6:30 in the evening when she heard some noises, actually her father was talking on the phone, and she decided to go out of her room. “You are going with me to the hospital. Granpda wants to see you since a few days ago.” ‘Wow, really? Not even a single hi and he just told me what to do.’ Anggun rolled her eyes and went back to her room to get her stuff. “I know I haven’t visited grandpa yet but ugh, I’m planning to visit him tomorrow, why today?” She kept grumbling while following her father to the car. The car ride to hospital was kinda awkward because both of them didn’t even say anything.

“You go to his room first, I need to buy some meds.” Said her father before he walked away. There she was, walking alone to her grandpa’s room. She noticed someone standing by the door once she arrived. “Where is your dad?” Anggun shrugged her shoulders and went inside. Her body freezed just when she saw her grandpa was laying there. His skin was very pale, he seemed like he was unconscious. She didn’t expect to see her granpa in this condition. “Is he okay?” She whispered to her mother. “Not at the moment, but I’m sure he will be okay.” In fact, just some mere words weren’t enough to make her sure that he is okay. Her grandpa didn’t seem like he was okay, not even a bit and she knew that. But oh well, she tried to hide it, it wasn’t the right time to make her mother sad, was it?

The clock kept tickling and it was 7 when she walked out of the room to get some air. The aura around her felt so strange, she didn’t like to be around hospital. This place was full of tears, blood, death, hopeless people, she hated it so much. Anggun sat in the nearest chair. Her eyes were looking straight in front of her but her mind was full of so many things. She started the day with happiness but once she went to this place, it felt like the happiness is gone somewhere far away.

“No… He is still here, isn’t he? It’s not possible…” One of her eyebrows raised when she heared those words. The next thing she heard was her mother crying, literally crying while calling her name. Her heart skipped a beat, she hesitantly walked in to the room. There were her mother, her father and her uncle in the room, standing near the bed. She clearly heard the crying noises. It wasn’t just her, they really cried. Anggung take a few steps forward and the first thing she saw was her grandpa’s face covered by white fabric. That was the time when she realized that he was gone. Anggun didn’t cry, not even a single tear. But it didn’t last long until she broke in tears along her family. It’s been a while since the last time a family member of her passed away, she almost forgot the feels and now she felt it again.

“No, don’t tell mom yet. Let’s just ask Dian to drive her home, let Anggun meets her first.” Her mother was trying so hard to speak while crying on their way to her uncle’s house to pick up grandma. “What about Yusuf?” Her father asked, trying to calm his wife while driving. And there was Anggun, crying alone in the back seat, she was blaming herself for being a bad grand child. Her granpda always wanted to see her since before but she didn’t even spare her times to visit him, even for a minute. In the other hand, she felt lucky that she at least had the chance to see him for the last time.

The so called Vacation days turned into gloomy days. Anggun kept blaming herself everyday, wishing she was there to accompany her grandpa. She kept crying, remembering how much he loved her. But it’s not only that, the thing that made her more sad was, her grandma kept blaming herself for not being there in the last few minutes of her husband’s life. Though she knew that her grandma was the best wife every men could ask for. She still rememberd the look on her Yusuf’s face when he reached home from Bandung and had to face his father’s dead body.

Everything felt so wrong after the death of her grandpa. There was like a distance between the family. Her mother refused to meet her aunt, only God knows why. Her grandma kept crying almost every day. And Anggun? Oh, she wished she could just change back the time, she wish she could control the time. But it’s too late, isn’t it?

It’s been a week since the day her granpda died. Everything was falling apart. Anggun sat on her bed, scrolling her LINE messages only to read and didn’t even bother to reply any of them. A long sigh escaped her mouth as she laid her body on the bed and stared at the ceilings. No, she didn’t cry, she was indeed thinking about her grandpa. She was wondering how her family would be after his death. Well, for now, her family didn’t feel like a family how it used to be. But she amazed of how a death of a person impact the rest of the family. Whether a good impact or other wise.

“Anggun, come with us. We are going for lunch.” That was she heard after a few knock on her door. The lazy Anggun just nod and closed her eyes for a few minutes before getting ready. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, her face looked very pale with no make up. She stood there, staring at herself for almost ten minutes. “How does it feel to be dead?” Anggun whispered, “Is ‘The World After Death’ real?” She continued. Another knock on her door made her almost jump in shock. She brushed her hair in hurry and walked out of her room. “Why don’t you put on some make up? You look very pale, Anggun.” Her mother said once she saw Anggun standing by the door. Anggun did not reply, she only stared at her mother and without her knowing, tears slowly pouring down her cheeks. “Mom, how does it feel to be dead?” A smile made its way to her lips when she said those words. The next thing she knew was, she passed out. Word count: 1,502

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