At The End of The Aisle: A Short Prose

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Summary: The story is about a bride who is hesitant about her decision of getting married at the last minutes.

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I preferred being tied on a roller coaster for dozen times, getting pushed from the highest spot of bungee jumping, squeezing a giant sewer rat at the most disgusting gutter, or anything but this, trembling so badly of terrible nervousness while fixing my white fluffy dress now and then.

My eyes couldn’t help but staring at the window. I was in the room in the second story of the building, so the height was probably three meters from the ground. Maybe I should just climb down the pipe and fled to somewhere far away. It would look absolutely weird seeing a bride walking in the street, instead of in a place where she was supposed to be, but hell with that. I was not ready for this.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The lady there was used to be a little girl who always felt curious about everything. She had still many unanswered questions. She had even no idea how every woman in the world could go through this. How did a woman know that the man she was marrying was the right one? What if she made a mistake? What if I made a mistake?

It’s not that I didn’t love Daniel; he was the greatest man I’d ever known. Like when he proposed, it was the best night in my life. He quoted the line from my all-time favorite movie while kneeling down offering me a blue sapphire ring.

“I want you to know that you have bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. Amanda, would you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?”

My voice somehow was unable to utter a word at that time, so I just nodded my head, wiped my tears, and hugged the man, whom I had dated since college. I didn’t know why every time I was with him, I felt like at home. Of course, he could be annoying sometimes. His stubbornness and the high pride of mine always succeeded to lead us into a fight. Nonetheless, we never stopped arguing from topics like novels that either he or I or both of us had just read, to the lamest things, for example, a mannequin that we saw in a store. It was just funnily enjoyable and no one could do that except Daniel. We were such a perfect match.

However, was it really a wise decision to advance our relationship into marriage? We were indeed best friends, partners, lovers, but wife and husband? That was something huge. I would spend the rest of my life with him; we would be growing old together, what if in the middle of this long journey something happened? What if a serious problem emerged between us and we couldn’t handle it, considering both of us had the same nature. I was that kind of person who refused to accept failure, especially one that could be hardly fixed like a divorce. Dear Lord, I couldn’t even imagine it! The responsibility was too much. The burden was too heavy. I was literally scared.

“Amanda, it’s time.”

“You startled me, Dad.”

I could not move my body, even a bit, nor could I say anything to my father. I just stared at him blankly.

“What’s wrong, dear?

“Dad, I don’t think I wanna marry today. Let’s just go home.”

My dad gave me his you-are-kidding-me look at the moment I finished my words. He let a sigh out and then cupped my face with his hands.

“It’s just the wedding jitter. Don’t you remember who the most excited person that prepared this beautiful wedding is? It’s you. Why do you have a doubt at the last minutes?”

“I don’t know. I am just… I don’t know. Maybe this is wrong. Maybe I was just too excited, but actually I’m not ready at all.”

My eyes were teary and my dad hugged me immediately to calm me down.

“It’s okay, dear. You know what? I felt the same way when I married your mom. It’s just terrifying to imagine what kind of life you have to deal with after the marriage. But look at now, I never ever regret every single day I spent with your mom, even until her last breath.”

He kissed my forehead and then said, “You’re gonna be absolutely fine. Give your utmost trust to Daniel. He is the man you have chosen, and I believe it’s surely the right choice.”

At the end I forced a smile and we walked out towards the chapel. My hand trembled and sweated, but Dad held mine firmly to calm my nerves. I could see a teardrop in the corner of his eyes. Nonetheless, a warm smile never disappeared from his wrinkled face. He shifted his gaze to the ceiling of the room and bit his own lip. I bet his mind was already full of Mom now.

The big door before us was finally open. The invitees stood up and we started walking slowly. And there he was, the groom, waiting at the end of the aisle. Daniel smiled at me as warmly as Dad. Suddenly all my doubts and anxiousness got replaced by a huge relieved. He was the one, the love of my life. I could do anything for being with him, even though I had to let go my ego and selfishness. I was finally sure he was the final stop for me to take shelter. And I promised to keep supporting him, cherishing him, being a good friend, partner, lover, and wife, for the rest of our life.

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Thank you to Parastika Heavi Nur Anggreany and Monica Maulidya Anilza for proofreading my work.

References:
– My ultimate dream as a girl
– Wright, Joe. (Dir.). 2005. Pride and Prejudice. United Kingdom: Universal Pictures.
– Bays, Carter and Craig Thomas. (Creators). 2014. How I Met Your Mother Season 9. United States: Bays & Thomas Productions

Word count: 950 words

Link for dramatization: https://soundcloud.com/amanda-alifia/at-the-end-of-the-aisle-a-short-prose